I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Actions speak louder than pants.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
