I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
