Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
