I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Are my feet made of real feet?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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