We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
