is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
