Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
