I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
