She said her name was "party"
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
