His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
