one might say we're banned from that church
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
