mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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