She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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