ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
