Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude i'm inner monologue high
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
