he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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