I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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