ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
