Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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