Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize