He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
