My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You are a genius and a whore.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
