Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
