brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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