thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
