Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i will never coherently bang her
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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