i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just google imaged poop.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
