just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
