dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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