I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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