No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
