We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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