just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
