bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
