Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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