I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
