Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
