I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize