why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
