Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize