my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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