I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
