he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
