it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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