I like to think it a success when the cops are called
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
