Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
