he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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