We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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