your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
