But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
