"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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