Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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