TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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