Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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