I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Quick, to the slutcave!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize