There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
