I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I will be naked everywhere
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
