I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
