Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
