If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
