MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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