So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
