Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
