Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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